The Darkest of Secrets: One Nerd’s Aspirations to be a Rapper.


     It all started with a facebook status. A friend of mine decided to post a little rap he had written. As cool as this fellow is, I must admit, his rap annoyed me mightily. It was at that moment that something stange happened to me.

     I suddenly had the most peculiar impulse to out-rap him. This strange desire frightened me. Nerds are not mean to out-rap ‘gangstas.’ It’s just not the natural way of things. But, after awhile of grappling with whether or not I should, I gave in to the impulse and wrote a nerd-rap as a reply to his ‘gangsta’ rap.  Although cencored to fit my blog’s standards, my friend’s rap went as follows:

Yaw typin soft, And wanna act like I lost
When yaws rhymes, got more flaws, than Microsoft
You think you dissed me? Naw dawg, ya Mic was off
I spit Morphine yaw kids spit Childrens Tylenol
Dont eva try to cross me dawg, Thats like a death wish
I spit dat fresh s*** known to make necks twist
If im on the choppin block, Then whats for breakfast?
~me

     When I read that rap, I felt so annoyed by the tremendous lack of grammatical syntax, culture, and intelligence displayed in the making of it, that I let my bitter inner-nerd respond. I normally try not to be an internet troll and knock people for their stupid posts, but this one was irresistable. My response is as follows:  

You can spout your profanity,
But really ’tis all vanity.
You may be able to talk the talk,
But I tell you, I talk like Spock.
Lest any ill thoughts you foster,
I tell you, live long and prosper.

     I felt quite elated with the thrill of victory because of my response. Though, on that day there was something dark that was birthed inside of me. This lurking evil that had grown from that response. I found I suddenly wished to become a rapper. This destroyed me on the inside. I felt like a hypocrite after my public decrying of popular rap.

     So I suppose this is my “coming out of the closet.” I want to be a rapper. Just had to get that off my chest. Naw, that last parts an April Fool’s Joke. Haha. I don’t actually want to be a rapper, I just posted that rap battle on here because my friend Jacob told me to. Have yourselves a great April Fool’s Day.

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About Jonathon Thigpen

I am a student, writer, photographer, traveler, teacher, and Lego enthusiast, who is endeavouring to be a man after God's own heart.
This entry was posted in Poetry, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to The Darkest of Secrets: One Nerd’s Aspirations to be a Rapper.

  1. Carson says:

    Hahaha… Ohmy.. Good one 😉

  2. Victoria Porter says:

    I was surfing poetry tags and came across this. Awesome. As a nerd myself, I thoroughly enjoyed your nerd rap. lol

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